We Shouldn't Be Having These Feelings
by Katojiku
Summary: Heiwajima Shizuo is a new teacher at Raira Academy where he meets the young student Ryuugamine Mikado! What would happen when he starts developing feelings for his new student? Would a small, forbidden romance bloom between these two? More explanations inside! ShizuKado. Rated T for language and themes.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is an AU in which Shizuo is a new teacher at Raira Academy. Almost everything else is kept the same as the anime except for most of the plot, and I might not be adding too many elements of the original plot into this story. (Please bear with the fact that I am not Narita Ryohgo himself, and that I am not nearly as talented of a writer as he is.) This story takes place about four to five months after Mikado moves to Ikebukuro, so he has already turned sixteen by this point (unlike western schools, schools in Japan typically start in early April and end in late March).**

* * *

There were rumors going through class 1-A about the new homeroom teacher (the previous teacher having retired earlier that week). One rumor in particular caught Ryuugamine Mikado's attention, one that said the man was once a delinquent back in his days in high school but somehow still managed to earn a teaching degree by the age of twenty-two.

The class waited in anticipation for the new teacher to arrive while Mikado merely feigned boredom as he gazed out the window his desk was conveniently placed next to. Despite his nonchalant act, his head still turned to face the door as it opened to reveal a handsome blond-headed man who looked to be in his mid-twenties. Many of the girls whispered excitedly to each other at the arrival of the new teacher. The man strolled in, closing the door and ignoring the whispering girls.

"Hello, class. The name's Heiwajima Shizuo, though I'd prefer that you use Heiwajima-sensei. Anything else and I'll be sure to give you a hard time. I am your homeroom teacher from now on, and I will also be teaching English," the blond said, nodding. "Now, are there any questions before I call on roll?"

A girl in one of the second row seats raised her hand. Shizuo nodded and gestured for her to speak. "How old are you, Heiwajima-sensei?"

The man calmly adjusted his glasses as he answered, "Ah, I'm currently twenty-four… Anything else you want to ask?"

"Are you single?" the girl asked innocently as Mikado fought the urge to roll his eyes.

Shizuo's eyes shot open at the question, and he readjusted his glasses, hiding the light blush on his face. "Y-yes, I am… but you know the law; it's forbidden for teachers to have intimate relationships with students." He paused and wearily asked, "Is there anything else?"

"No, sir," replied the girl as she smiled cheekily.

The blond gave a nod and proceeded to take attendance. When Mikado was called on, he was so nervous that he tripped and fell over the leg of his desk as soon as he stood.

"Way to make a first impression, Mikado," he muttered bitterly to himself as he brought himself back to his feet, blushing heavily when he heard titters of laughter float throughout the room. "I-I'm Ryuugamine Mikado."

A look of concern crossed across Shizuo's face. "Are you alright Ryuugamine-kun?"

"I'm fine, Heiwajima-sensei. There's no need to worry about me," said Mikado as he brushed himself off before sitting down.

The blonde gave the raven a reluctant nod and quickly finished taking attendance before making a couple announcements. Once that was over with, Shizuo began his first lesson with his new class. It surprisingly wasn't as dull as the last teacher's lessons. Mikado remembered how the old teacher would drone on and on in a voice so monotone that at least half the students would be lulled to sleep within the first ten minutes of class. Mikado found the blond's voice to be much more interesting, and his fellow students seemed to agree as they were all attentively listening as the teacher wrote notes onto the blackboard.

~O~o~O~

Mikado stretched as he walked home on his own—as both Anri and Masaomi had matters to deal with after school—and smiled at the scenery of the city until he saw the unmistakable fur-trim coat of a certain information broker. He had meant to pass by without the older raven noticing him, but, alas, his wrist had been caught, and the informant dragged him off to a more secluded part of the city.

"What a pleasant coincidence it is to see you walking home by yourself the day I have business in Ikebukuro, ne?" Izaya smirked, gripping tightly to Mikado's wrist. "Did you miss me, Mikado-chan?"

Mikado frowned when he couldn't wrench himself free from the informant's grip. "What do you want, Orihara-san?"

But before the informant could explain himself, he'd taken a direct hit from a projectile street sign that had seemingly come out of nowhere, consequently making Izaya let go of Mikado's wrist as he was thrown against the brick wall of a tall building.

"I—ZA—YA!"

Though he'd only heard it for the first time that morning, Mikado recognized the voice right away. He turned, seeing his new teacher stomp his way over to pick Izaya up threateningly by the collar.

The information broker managed to smirk despite the imminent danger. "Shizu-chan, it's been a while, ne? How's your job?"

Izaya's words only seemed to anger the blond. "Don't fucking call me that, you flea! And didn't I tell you to stay the hell out of Ikebukuro?" the blond asked, shaking Izaya as if he were a rag-doll.

"I was only here on business and was about to leave, Shizu-chan, but then I spotted Mikado-chan here and just had to stay a little longer~!" Izaya replied, gesturing to the high school student.

Shizuo practically dropped the informant when he finally seemed to have recognized his student. "Ryuu… Ryuugasaki-kun?"

Mikado nervously shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "I-it's Ryuugamine, Heiwajima-sensei…"

The blond man let his shoulders sag. "Right. Sorry… I never was that good with names…"

"Except mine, ne?" the informant asked, hopping to his feet as if he hadn't just been hit by a street sign.

Shizuo growled in annoyance, aiming a punch at the chuckling informant who dodged out of the way just in time. "I swear to God, I'll kill you one day, you damn flea!" Mikado stood with his eyes wide with amazement as he saw his teacher uproot another street sign. He launched it at the informant as if it were a spear and shouted, "Get the fuck out of Ikebukuro!"

Izaya hopped out of the way once more and stood, pouting at Shizuo. "Can't I have a little fun with Mikado-chan first?"

"Fuck no! He's my student, and I'm not gonna let you place another dirty paw on him as long as I'm here!" Shizuo clenched his fists menacingly.

The information broker's pout was replaced by a smirk. "I see how it is then." He turned to Mikado and gave a hearty wave. "I'll see you later, Mikado-chan~!" he exclaimed cheerfully before dashing off in the direction of Shinjuku.

Shizuo made a move to run after the informant but was stopped when a warm, gentle hand held him back. His eyes met sapphire blue, and the mere sight of Mikado's eyes made all of his anger ebb away in an instant. Seeing that his teacher relaxed, Mikado loosened his grip on the blond's arm and smiled.

"I can't thank you enough, sensei," Mikado said bowing. "Every time he shows up in Ikebukuro, I'm always the one being targeted."

"Do you have any idea why?" the blond asked, not seeing any reason why the flea would target someone as ordinary-looking as Mikado.

An almost hesitant look crossed Mikado's face before it became neutral. "No."

"You're lying."

Mikado did a double-take in his mind but didn't dare to let it show on his face this time. "I'm not lying, Heiwajima-sensei."

The teacher sighed; he wasn't going to get an answer out of the kid any time soon. "Is it alright if I walk you home? I don't want the flea to come find you again."

All Mikado could do was nod, and he silently led the way to his apartment, avoiding all of the more crowded streets as he did so. Shizuo walked several meters behind him in case anyone was still watching. Once they reached the apartment complex, Shizuo stopped in his tracks. _This is where the kid has been living? _To say the place was crappy would be an understatement. There was graffiti all over the cracked, brick walls, the railings leading up the stairs were heavily rusted, and there was garbage left everywhere on the ground.

"How're you able to live in a place like this? The place looks like shit," Shizuo said aloud.

Mikado held back a laugh. "You're not one to sugarcoat things, are you, Heiwajima-sensei?"

"Shizuo."

"Eh?" Mikado looked back, a question in his eyes.

"Shizuo," the blond repeated. "Call me Shizuo when we're alone."

Mikado's face broke into a grin. "Shizuo-san it is."

Face gradually turning red, Shizuo turned away. _Dammit… I shouldn't be having these feelings. _"I'll see you, tomorrow, Ryuugamine-kun."

"If it's alright with you, I wouldn't mind being called by my first name," Mikado called, having already climbed up to the second floor.

"See you tomorrow, Mikado-kun."

* * *

**All right! This is the first Durarara fanfic I'm publishing, so please be kind with the reviews~ xD I've recently fallen in love with ShizuKado because I think they honestly fit so well with each other after reading so many wonderful fanfics by all these talented people here~! I couldn't help but write one myself because ShizuKado needs more love on this site!**

**I apologize to the readers of my Hetalia fic (if there are any of them reading this message) for not updating it for so long. It'll take me a long while to get back to it, but I'm not abandoning it just yet.**


	2. Chapter 2

Shizuo yawned as he got up from bed the next morning; he'd just had the most fitful sleep he'd had in years, all for a student he'd only recently fallen for. Sighing, he went and grabbed a glass of milk, which he downed in almost no time flat. He shouldn't be thinking about the kid so early in the morning. The blond sighed once more as he set down the now empty glass. He should be more careful around Mikado from now on. A teacher shouldn't be involved in the student's life outside of the classroom, after all. With a sinking heart, Shizuo got ready for work.

~O~o~O~

Mikado walked to school as usual with his two best friends. Masaomi, the most talkative of the three, was walking ahead of the other two and kept babbling about nothing in particular while Anri and Mikado patiently listened to the blond's mindless chatter. By the time the three friends arrived at school, Masaomi had quieted down and was getting ready to part ways from the other two.

"Well, I guess I'll see you two on the rooftop during lunch alright?" Masaomi asked as they stopped in front of Anri and Mikado's classroom. "Mikado-kun, you'd better not steal my beautiful Anri-chan by that time!"

Mikado rolled his eyes. "I'll try my best, Kida-kun."

"Hey, I'm not kidding! If you steal Anri-chan from me, I'll get really upset and possibly even cry!" Masaomi exclaimed much too loudly, making everyone nearby turn to look at the three.

"Alright, just get to class, Kida-kun," Mikado replied, waving his friend off and ignoring the stares from the other people in the hallway.

Masaomi pouted and hugged tightly onto Mikado's arm. "Mikado-kuuuuun… Your lack of concern for me really is wounding."

Sighing, Mikado lightly patted the blond's head with his free hand. "Masaomi… It's okay, I won't steal her."

Masaomi leapt back with a thousand-watt smile on his face. "You finally called me by my first name!"

"It was the only way to get you to stop," Mikado deadpanned, killing the blond's mood once more.

"So mean, Mikado-kun!" Masaomi feigned a wounded look and dramatically clutched his chest.

"Get to class, Kida-kun," was Mikado's only reply as he entered his classroom.

The exasperated blond turned to Anri who was hiding a giggle behind her hand. "He's being so harsh today. Do you think it's because we didn't accompany him home yesterday?"

Anri moved her hand from her face, revealing a ghost of a smile on her lips. "Ah, that might've been it. He mentioned bumping into Orihara-san when he came to pick me up."

Masaomi's face visibly darkened. "What did Orihara try to do this time?"

The girl shrugged. "Someone saved him before Orihara-san tried anything, but Ryuugamine-kun refused to reveal who it was…"

"Well, whoever it is, I'm glad he saved our best friend," Masaomi replied. His eyes softened when he watched Mikado through the doorway. The raven looked so fragile and innocent. Masaomi couldn't let some douchebag like Izaya corrupt his best friend. He'd die before he'd even let that happen.

A teacher cleared his throat behind the two who both jumped at the sound. Anri was the first to look behind her and was surprised to see her homeroom teacher standing there. "Heiwajima-sensei."

Shizuo looked down at them both. "The bell is about to ring. I wouldn't want either of you to be late to your classes."

Both teens hurriedly bowed, and Masaomi walked off to his classroom while Anri went to take her seat. Shizuo pretended to wait for stragglers after the bell rang when, in truth, he was trying his best to not think about the way Masaomi gazed at Mikado.

~O~o~O~

An audible thud echoed through the teacher's lounge shortly after school had been let out. Occasionally muttering about how much of a dumbass he was, a certain blond-headed teacher was harshly grinding his own forehead into his desk. A bottle of milk was gently placed on the corner of his desk by a man in dreadlocks.

"I'm guessing you had a bad day?" the man asked, nudging the bottle towards Shizuo when he finally looked up.

The blond smiled, taking the milk from the desk. "Tom-san…"

"Care to tell me what's wrong?" Tom asked, pulling up a chair next to Shizuo.

The blond contemplated on telling his friend/colleague the truth and sighed. "I'm… in love with a student… when I know I shouldn't be… and he probably doesn't like me back."

Tom didn't look too surprised at Shizuo's response. Instead, he gave the blond a melancholy smile and a pat on the back. "Things will only get harder for you, Shizuo, but I'm sure you know that already. The only other thing I can say is to hang in there. Who knows? Maybe he'll like you back."

"I expected you to scold me, Tom-san," said Shizuo, taking a sip from his milk.

The man in dreadlocks merely shrugged. "Sometimes you just can't control who you fall in love with. That's a common problem for everyone." He looked to Shizuo and smiled. "Just promise me one thing, Shizuo."

"What?" Shizuo asked.

"Try not to land yourself in jail."

The blond sighed and averted his gaze from Tom. "I'll try by best."

~O~o~O~

It was pouring rain by the time the Raira trio emerged from school, but that still didn't stop the three friends from visiting a new café that opened up just a few blocks away. They all wrung out their umbrellas once they reached safety under the awning and made their way inside. The interior of the café was quite cozy and cheerful, and it was filled with a rather pleasant aroma of sweets. Masaomi forced his other friends to sit at a table as he went up to the counter to order drinks.

"I know I already asked this morning, Ryuugamine-kun, but I'm still a little curious. Who was it that saved you from Orihara-san yesterday?" Anri asked as she and Mikado waited for Masaomi.

Mikado shifted a little in his cushioned seat. "I-I'm not sure if I should tell you…"

"Please? Kida-kun and I are both curious," Anri insisted.

Masaomi hopped up to the table, a tray of (surprisingly un-spilt) drinks in hand. "Yeah! Do tell us, Mikado-kun! I want to thank the guy for saving you from that bastard!" The whole café became quiet (aside from the background music that was still playing) as everyone turned to stare at the blond teen who was still standing.

"Oh, I'm sorry about that little outburst. Kida-kun gets a little too wound up sometimes," Mikado said nervously, motioning at Masaomi to sit down. The rest of the café resumed its casual chatter as if nothing happened.

"So, who was it?" Masaomi asked in a quieter voice, practically bouncing in his seat.

Mikado's gaze lowered to his drink. "I don't think he'd want me to tell you…"

The blond pouted. "Are we not your friends, Mikado-kun?"

"N-no, it's not like that!" Mikado said, waving his hands defensively. "You are my friends. I just want to give him some anonymity until I know for sure that he's okay with you knowing."

Both Anri and Masaomi seemed to be a little satisfied with the answer and left the topic alone. As they waited for the rain to gradually clear up, the three sat and talked casually with each other, eventually trying out the delicious pastries the café had to offer.

By the time the three left the café, the rain had died down to a drizzle. Masaomi and Mikado dropped Anri off at her apartment since it was closest to the café and walked together in silence.

Mikado was a bit unnerved at how silent his best friend was being and decided to speak up. "Is something wrong, Kida-kun? You're really quiet…"

The blond looked to his friend, a serious expression on his face. "I have something to ask you."

Mikado looked a little nervous. "Ask away."

The serious expression never left Masaomi's face. "Do you like me, Mikado?"

The raven-haired teen blinked. "Of course I do. You're my best friend, Kida-kun."

Masaomi shook his head. "That's not what I'm asking. Do you _like_ me, Mikado?"

Mikado finally understood what his friend meant, and his weight shifted from foot to foot. "I… I'm not sure, Kida-kun…" he finally admitted.

"Wanna find out?" Masaomi asked, folding his umbrella; the drizzle had already ceased.

A blush bloomed across Mikado's face as he folded his own umbrella. "U-um…"

Masaomi chuckled. "You're perverted, Mikado-kun. I'm only planning to kiss you."

Mikado's face reddened further in embarrassment. "R-right…"

The blond ducked away from the street and into an alleyway with Mikado following close behind. Once he found that no one was looking, Masaomi pressed his lips to Mikado's, noting how the other's body tensed and didn't quite fully relax. When his lips were released, Mikado thought he caught a glimpse of a tall, blond man hurriedly walking away. Mikado felt his throat constrict as he inwardly prayed that the man wasn't who he thought he was.

~O~o~O~

Shizuo had gone to the store to buy some groceries since he was running low on milk anyway and bought enough to last him for another week. Once he had paid for everything, he continued his walk home. The blond man slowed his walking when he saw the blond kid he'd recognized from earlier that morning pulling Mikado into an alley. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, Shizuo continued walking but stopped abruptly when he reached the opening of the alley. His heart nearly stopped at the scene before him, and he clutched tightly to the grocery bags in his hands. The blond quickly averted his gaze from the kissing couple and hurriedly walked off before he could be discovered. When he entered the comfort of his apartment, Shizuo sank to a sitting position with his legs sprawled out before him. _I was stupid to think I actually had a chance with the kid._

* * *

**DUN DUN DUN~! I'm evil, I know. xD …please don't hurt me… *hides* Things will get better for Shizuo soon, I swear!**

**I greatly appreciate all of the reviews, follows, and favorites from the last chapter~! You guys are so kind, and I'm so glad so many of you liked it~!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I wanted to clarify this to the guest who reviewed about the school year in Japan: Japanese students **_**do **_**have summer break, it's just wedged into the middle of the school year. In Japan, school starts in the spring instead of fall, and the average school year is much longer than it is in America, but it has more breaks in between. Also, there are six years in elementary school, three years in middle school, and three years in high school, which means that a first-year in high school would technically be a sophomore in the States. Hope that clears things up for you (and always, always, always do some research on a topic before you start writing fanfiction! It will give you a better understanding of how things work, and you will have better ideas when you start writing~).**

* * *

"Well?" Masaomi asked once he regained Mikado's attention.

The raven fidgeted the hem of his school uniform and occasionally glanced back to where he last caught a glimpse of Shizuo. He didn't feel any sort of spark when he was kissed by Masaomi. A sense of guilt filled Mikado. Masaomi probably had feelings for him, but the raven wasn't able to share the same affections.

Finally, Mikado lifted his head, deciding to tell his friend the truth. "I'm sorry, Kida-kun. I-I think I like someone else."

Masaomi nodded, forcing himself to smile. "It's alright. So I'm guessing the person you like is the same one who saved you from that bastard, right?"

The raven guiltily kept his gaze to his shoes. "R-right…"

"Hey, don't be so down, Mikado. I'm alright as long as the person you like isn't the bastard Orihara himself," Masaomi said, patting his friend's back as he led him out of the alley.

Mikado nodded and opted to keep his mouth shut about Shizuo for he didn't want to reveal anything about the blond teacher just yet. "I don't know if he even likes me like that…"

The blond teen turned his head to his best friend. "Is he someone you'll be seeing often?"

Mikado blushed slightly, already worried about the next time he'd be seeing Shizuo. "Y-yeah…"

Masaomi stretched and swung an arm over the raven's shoulders. "Just make him like you if he doesn't. I'll be rooting for you, Mikado-kun! And if you ever get your feelings hurt or get rejected, you know who to fall back on," the blond said, winking and roughly ruffling the shorter male's hair before releasing him.

Mikado managed a small smile for his encouraging friend, keeping his negative thoughts to himself. _That's easier said than done, Kida-kun. The person I like is much older than I am._

~O~o~O~

It was just as hard for Shizuo to wake up the next morning as the day before as he slammed his hand over the snooze button in order to get an extra five minutes to wallow in self-pity before he got ready for the morning. Once the alarm went off again, Shizuo groaned and rolled out of bed, rubbing his face with his hands. No matter how much he tried, the blond couldn't take his lovesick mind off of Mikado.

_Should the kid really be that important to me?_ Shizuo thought as he went through his usual morning routine. _He is pretty cute… but what if I lose my temper around him and end up getting him hurt? I'll never be able to forgive myself then… There's also that Kida kid I have to worry about. What is he to Mikado? If they're already together… then there's absolutely no hope for me…_

The blond shook his head and mentally scolded himself for being so negative on the topic. He had to get his spirits up quickly or at least not feel as if he's hit rock-bottom if he wanted to function properly for work that day. After getting dressed in his work attire, Shizuo sprinted out of his apartment as the messenger bag hanging across his shoulder swung with every movement he made. The run helped Shizuo with clearing his mind of his fears, and he decided, as he reached the school building, that he would do his best to avoid Mikado since he was still a little shocked by the scene that played over and over in his mind since the day before. Once he reached the teacher's lounge, Shizuo set his bag down onto his desk and plopped down into his seat, heaving a sigh as he rested his head on the cool surface of his desk. Tom, who watched Shizuo from the moment he stepped into the room, approached the bottle-blond's desk and gently placed a milk bottle next to his head. Shizuo smiled at him appreciatively as he sat up and downed the bottle in mere seconds.

"How are you today?" Tom asked, pulling up a chair next to Shizuo.

The man sighed once more. "Same as yesterday, I guess… Maybe even a little worse…"

The man in dreadlocks frowned when he heard the answer. "I'm sorry to hear that…" Tom paused for a moment before smiling. "Hey, why don't we go to that new café after work? I've heard their pastries are to die for."

Shizuo smiled at his friend, appreciating the fact that he was trying to cheer him up and not prying for answers. "Sure, why not?"

~O~o~O~

_He's ignoring me_, Mikado realized when Shizuo called on someone else to answer the question as the raven had his hand raised. The raven sighed quietly when Shizuo's eyes ghosted over him once more. He slumped into his seat, giving up on trying to get called on. Feeling a poke on his back, he turned to the girl sitting behind him.

"Yes, Harima Mika-san?" he whispered.

Mika motioned for him to hold out his hand. Mikado complied, and she placed a folded piece of paper into his palm, making sure the raven closed his fingers around it before he turned back around. Unfolding the piece of paper, the raven's eyes widened when he read the neatly written message before him.

[You really like him, don't you?]

Mikado fumbled with the pencil in his hand before he wrote a reply. [Yes… but he's a little upset with me right now…] He tapped the eraser end of his pencil on his desk before passing the paper back to Mika.

The raven waited until he felt a tap on his shoulder and took the paper back to read the reply.

[You should make up with him soon! You two seem like a really cute couple~!]

Mikado nearly face-palmed at the last sentence—having been reminded of a certain fujoshi who kept insisting on calling him "Mikapuu"—and chose to ignore it. [I will, hopefully, by the end of today.]

Mika let out a small squeal as she read the reply and passed the paper back after she wrote a response.

[I hope things go well between you two~!]

The raven-haired teen couldn't help but smile at the girl's heartening words. [Thank you, Harima-san.]

~O~o~O~

Once school was let out, Mikado waited for classroom to empty until he and Anri were left.

"Are you walking home with us today, Ryuugamine-kun?" the girl asked, sending him a gentle smile.

Mikado shook his head. "I'm meeting up with someone today."

It wasn't a complete lie since he was planning to talk with Shizuo and clear things up between them. Anri nodded and bid him farewell alongside Masaomi who was dejected to leave the raven-haired male behind. Once he was alone, Mikado tried to come up with a plan to at least get Shizuo to speak with him.

"Well, first of all, I have to go out and actually _find_ him…" Mikado murmured as he finally exited the classroom into the empty hallway. He checked the teacher's lounge first and got disappointed when he found that no one was there. "That's strange… There's usually a couple people left at around this time… Maybe it's because today is Friday?"

He proceeded to look out the window with a view of the front gate and caught a glimpse of golden blond hair before the owner of those golden locks turned a corner around the block. Cursing under his breath, Mikado got to the school gate as fast as he could and ran in the direction he saw his teacher go. His lungs were already burning with the need for air, but he urged himself to move on; he wouldn't stop until he caught up with Shizuo. Relief washed over him when he saw that distinctive head of blond hair in a sea of people with hair color ranging within a spectrum between ebony black and chocolate brown. It didn't take long before he was able to weave through the crowd—muttering apologies along the way—and finally grab the taller man's sleeve.

Shizuo turned with a look of shock etched across his face as he recognized the raven-haired teen. "Mikado-kun?"

"Hmm? You say something, Shizuo?" a man in brown dreadlocks asked as he slowed to match Shizuo's stride and saw the young Raira student hanging onto his sleeve. "Who's this?"

The blond man spluttered, rendering himself speechless as he struggled to find the right words. Mikado quickly let go of the man's sleeve, realizing that he held on for a bit too long.

Tom shook his head as a rather bemused expression spread across his face. He already knew that this teenager was the person Shizuo mentioned before; it was practically written all over the man's face. "Never mind… Let's get to the introductions once we're all at the café, alright?"

The other two merely nodded their heads, not saying a word as Tom led them to the café Mikado visited the day before. The three each purchased a pastry and sat themselves down in one of the more private booths so that they could talk without the risk of being overheard.

Mikado timidly nibbled on his Soboro bread as he waited for Tom to speak. **(A/N: I don't know why but whenever I hear the word "café" I immediately think of Korean bakeries like White Windmill and places like that. I felt that Ikebukuro would be the perfect place for a Korean bakery so… yeah… Now you know that the café is Korean… since I decided this just before I typed this part… owo")**

The dreadlocked man smiled warmly to Mikado who relaxed into his seat a little. "Nice to meet you. I'm Tanaka Tom, a good friend of Shizuo's. I'm the one who helped him get that teaching job at Raira."

The raven-haired teen chewed and swallowed the bit of bread in his mouth before introducing himself. "I-I'm Ryuugamine Mikado."

Tom tilted his head to the side upon hearing Mikado's name. "Ryuugamine… That's an interesting name. So… what was it you wanted to talk to Shizuo about?"

Mikado glanced at the blond whose eyes seemed to be so concentrated on the half-eaten pastry before him that it looked as if he could've burnt a giant hole through the poor thing. The raven smiled meekly at the sight before turning back to Tom. "U-um… it's a little…"

"Private?" Tom asked, finishing for the teen. He smiled when Mikado nodded. "It's alright. I'll leave you two alone then."

Mikado was surprised to find how accepting the man was of the situation. As Tom stood, Shizuo finally looked up from his pastry, a pleading look on his face. "Tom-san…"

The man in dreadlocks waved his hand dismissively. "I'm sure things will be fine, Shizuo. Mikado-kun wouldn't be here if he didn't like you, right?" He turned to the raven who nodded once again. At the conformation, he said his goodbyes and left.

Mikado was relieved to see that Shizuo was finally looking him in the eyes, and a light blush formed on his face. The man's eyes were such a nice honey color…

"What was it you wanted to say to me?" the blond asked, uncertainty written all over his face.

* * *

**I'm spoiling Shizu-chan by feeding him so much milk and sweets… I shouldn't be so nice to him, ne? *evil chuckle* By the way, thanks for the reviews in the last chapter! They made me smile~ :3**

**I'm sorry for taking so long to update this… My aunt and uncle came over for Christmas… and then school happened… xP**


	4. Chapter 4

"_What was it you wanted to say to me?"_

Mikado took another nervous bite of his bread, mulling over his thoughts before answering the question. "I saw you yesterday… after school… a-after Kida-kun and I k-kissed…"

The bottle blond visibly froze, looking almost exactly like a deer in headlights. He didn't make a sound.

The raven-haired teen took advantage of this silence to further explain what happened the day before. "The kiss was Kida-kun's idea. He wanted to see whether I had feelings for him or not, so he initiated it. I didn't share the same feelings he had."

Shizuo exhaled the breath he was holding in relief. _They're not in a relationship_, he thought.

Mikado boldly lifted his eyes to Shizuo's. "The thing is… I like someone else. Shizuo-san, I like you."

The blond felt his heart leap to his throat at the confession. "Are you trying to mess with me?" he asked.

The teen shook his head, giving the man the most genuine expression he could muster. "I'm not joking, Shizuo-san. I'd never joke about something like this. I honestly like you."

A hurricane of emotions whirled in Shizuo's mind. He was at a loss; he couldn't decide on which of the emotions to act on first. The blond didn't know how to react because he never felt this way before in his life. A blind panic rose inside him, and he jumped abruptly to his feet.

"Shizuo-san?" Mikado asked, also standing.

Shizuo shook his head. "I-I gotta go think this through." With that said, the blond man left the café.

The teen sank back into his seat and took another bite from his Soboro bread, feeling outright defeated. _Maybe I was a little too straight forward?_ Mikado remembered seeing the mix of emotions swirling around from within the depths of those honey eyes. There was no doubt that the blond liked him; Mikado had caught a glimpse of it in the man's beautiful eyes. _Maybe he was shy and didn't know what to do with his emotions? _Mikado asked himself as he finished off the rest of his bread. Whatever the answer was, the teen couldn't shake off the feeling of rejection that plagued his mind.

Leaving the café with a heavy heart, Mikado headed in the direction of his home… until a certain informant clad in his signature fur-trim coat appeared in front of him. The teen took several steps back, eyes wide in shock.

A steady smirk displayed itself on the older raven's face. "What's wrong? You look as if you've just seen a ghost~! Do I really scare you that much, Mikado-chan~?" Izaya's tone made him sound as if he were almost singing; he enjoys looking at Mikado's horror-stricken face, after all.

The teen opted not to answer the older man's question and tried to compose himself. "What are you doing here, Orihara-san?"

Izaya shrugged, looking as if he hadn't a care in the universe. "Business as usual, Mikado-chan. Plus, I wanted to see how you were doing."

"You just saw me two days ago," Mikado deadpanned.

"Ah, but our meeting was cut short, remember? Because of Shizu-chan, that monster of a human…" The man shook his head in mock pity. "Actually, I don't think he's human at all. No, he's a pure monster."

The teen clenched his fists at Izaya's words. "Heiwajima-sensei is not a monster; he's the complete opposite!"

Izaya rolled his eyes. "Mikado-chan, do you have any idea what you're saying? Have you seen the protozoan's brute strength? It's his strength that makes him a monster, Mikado-chan. He can lift anything from street signs to vending machines and throw them as if they don't weigh a thing! Shizu-chan is a scary force of nature and has a really bad temper too!"

Mikado shook his head. "But underneath that bad temper is a kind person. He wouldn't intentionally hurt someone unless they really pissed him off."

Izaya sighed at the teen's argument that made complete sense. "Whatever you say… But Shizu-chan is still a brute~!"

"You're such a child, Orihara-san…" the teen said aloud, feeling a headache coming on.

"Well, I _am_ forever twenty-one~!" the information broker exclaimed, stretching out his arms to the sides and twirling on the axis of his foot.

Mikado shook his head and tried walking past the informant as fast as his two legs could manage, wishing to keep as much distance from the insane man as possible… until a cool hand wrapped itself firmly around his wrist.

"Where do you think you're going, Mikado-chan? I'm not done speaking with you yet." There was now a sweet yet venomous tone in the man's voice.

Mentally sighing, the teen turned to meet the elder's garnet eyes. He knew he couldn't escape Izaya's presence, but he had tried nonetheless. It was all that mattered to Mikado. He didn't trust the man, not since Masaomi warned him not to get near the informant. "What do you want, Orihara-san?"

Izaya smirked. "I just wanted to check up on my favorite pawn~!"

After much struggle, Mikado finally managed to yank his wrist from the informant's grip. "I'm _fine_. Now, I want to be left alone, Orihara-san."

Instead of leaving him as Mikado wished, Izaya fell into step with the Raira student. "Something's upsetting you." His voice sounded strangely serious now.

Mikado was baffled at how Izaya seemingly went through a spectrum of emotions within just a few minutes, but he guessed it was only how the man carried himself, constantly evolving and changing shape to avoid becoming predictable in his ways. "It's none of your business," he answered, ignoring how Izaya sped up to walk in front of him. Backwards.

The informant tilted his head to the side. "Why not?"

Mikado shook his head, making a point to glare at the man. "I'm not telling you."

Izaya stopped abruptly, causing Mikado to bump into him. "Tell me, Mikado-chan," he whispered into his ear, slithering his arms around the younger's waist. "You're making me curious."

Mikado gasped and pushed at the man's chest, trying desperately to escape him. When he heard a familiar growl of his captor's name, he couldn't help but smile. _Shizuo-san has such great timing. _Before he could register a thing, Mikado was ripped out of Izaya's arms and was now being shielded from view by the blond.

"Flea," Shizuo growled dangerously, "didn't I just tell you two days ago to stay the hell out of Ikebukuro?"

He shrugged and gave Shizuo a smirk. "You might've mentioned it once or twice… Not that I'd listen to a protozoan like you. I only wanted to visit my dear Mikado-chan again, but then you had to come and ruin my fun. How did you know I was here anyway, Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo wrinkled his nose as he held firmly to Mikado's wrist. "Your stench gave you away, Flea. The whole city smells like shit whenever you're here. Now, are you gonna leave, or do I have to punch you all the way back to Shinjuku?"

Izaya smirked and backed away, his hands raised in surrender. "No need to get so worked up, Shizu-chan. I'm just about ready to leave…" He quickly raced around Shizuo, pecked Mikado on the cheek, and made a mad dash down the street and out of sight before the blond could react.

Shizuo was furious once he realized what Izaya had done and threw threatening glances at the small crowd of people that formed around them. "That lucky bastard…" he muttered once he was sure everyone was gone and out of earshot. Izaya had done something the blond would never have the courage to do: kiss Mikado in public… even if it was only a kiss on the cheek.

After wiping furiously at his cheek, Mikado bowed and thanked Shizuo for saving him once again. "I hate causing you such trouble, Shizuo-san. I'm sorry."

Shizuo waved him off as they walked peacefully to Mikado's apartment. "It's the flea who's the troublemaker, not you." He took a lighter from one of his pockets and flicked it open and closed with a metallic clicking noise. **(A/N: Ten points if you can guess which Digimon character I based this action off of~! Three hints: 1) He is blond. 2) He also wears sunglasses. 3) His first name rhymes with Shitsuo. |DD *brick'd*)**

Mikado watched him for a few clicks before asking the question that came into mind. "Do you smoke, Shizuo-san?"

He flicked the lighter one last time before pocketing it. "Used to. I quit once I started teaching. The only reason I started smoking in the first place was because of that stupid flea." He chuckled. "Did you know we both went to your school? It was back when it was still called Raijin."

The teen shook his head. "I knew Orihara-san attended Raira, but I didn't know you did too…"

Smiling softly, Shizuo continued. "That was how I'd earned the title of 'Monster of Ikebukuro.' Never liked that title… and I actually hate violence."

Surprised, Mikado looked up into the taller man's eyes. They reflected nothing but honesty. "But then… why…?"

"Why do I act violent, you mean?" Mikado nodded. "Because when I get pissed off, my body just moves on its own. I can't control it. I remember the first time it happened… I almost threw a fridge at my little brother because he ate the last cup of pudding. Broke my neck as a result."

"Was your brother scared?" Mikado asked.

Shizuo laughed. "You can never tell with him, but I didn't think he was. He just calmly sat there and stared at me after he finished the pudding."

"Your brother is… strange," the teen said once he got over his amazement.

Shizuo laughed once more. "He may be strange, but he's a famous actor now."

The look of curiosity was palpable on Mikado's face. "Who is he?"

"He goes by Hanejima Yuuhei; his real name is Heiwajima Kasuka."

Mikado took a glance at Shizuo's face, and his eyes widened in recognition. "I can see the resemblance now."

Shizuo gave a stiff nod. "Don't tell anyone. His real name is supposed to be a secret."

"I won't tell a soul, Shizuo-san."

Shizuo smiled and ruffled Mikado's hair. "You're a good kid, Mikado-kun."

Mikado did his best to hide his disappointment at being called a kid. "My confession at the café… Have you thought about it?"

Shizuo sighed. "I… don't think it's a good idea, Mikado-kun. The first time I cared about someone… I tried to protect her from a bunch of thugs and accidentally hurt her in the process. She was a sweet woman who used to give me and Kasuka a bottle of milk whenever she saw us walk home from school. I couldn't face her after what I did…"

"I'm so sorry," Mikado whispered.

Shizuo smiled sadly. "That day, made me wish I didn't have this strength. I'm so afraid of hurting the people I care about, and so many people are afraid of _me_ because of the strength I was cursed with…"

Mikado tentatively placed a hand on the blond's trembling back. "I don't think you're cursed, Shizuo-san."

"Aren't you afraid of me?" Shizuo asked quietly.

Mikado shook his head. "I'm not scared of you because I know you'll never hurt me on purpose. You're a good, honest person, Shizuo-san. I trust that side of you."

A tear slipped its way down Shizuo's face. "Thank you so much, Mikado."

They walked the rest of the way to Mikado's apartment in a thick silence. Shizuo spoke up when they reached Mikado's door. "I spilled my guts out to you back there. It's only fair that you tell me something in return. Tell me… Why is Izaya so interested in you? Why does he go out of his way to harass you?"

Mikado bit his lip. "I'm part of the Dollars…"

Shizuo raised a brow. "So? I'm a part of them too, and I'm sure almost everyone in Ikebukuro is a member of that gang as well. What makes you so special?"

Mikado was chewing at his bottom lip now; he was sure Shizuo wouldn't like the explanation he's about to give. "Because I'm not just a member of the Dollars… I'm their leader. I'm the person who founded the Dollars."

* * *

**There's so much dialogue in this chapter, but I liked writing this a lot! I think you could also tell that my favorite episode was the one featuring Shizuo's past. xDD I always wanted to give Kid!Shizuo a hug ;A; Poor baby… *sniff* (Maybe I should change the second genre to hurt/comfort? xDD *shot*)**

**Please review! DD: There weren't many in the last chapter, and that worried me into thinking I didn't do a good job at writing.**


	5. Chapter 5

"_Because I'm not just a member of the Dollars… I'm their leader. I'm the person who founded the Dollars."_

Shizuo merely stared at Mikado as if he were waiting for the punch line of a joke. "You're shitting me, right?"

Mikado shook his head. "I wouldn't joke about something like this."

The blond stood silent as he studied Mikado. "_You're_ the Dollars' leader?" When the teen nodded, Shizuo continued. "Was I the only person who didn't know?" He sounded slightly irritated.

Mikado shook his head once more. "No one else knows other than you, Orihara-san, and…"

Shizuo began to grow impatient. "And…?"

"And Cel—" He cut himself off before he said the rest of the dullahan's name. "The Black Rider."

Recognition dawned on Shizuo's face. "You know Celty?" When Mikado nodded, somewhat stunned, he then asked, "What about your friends? Do they know?"

"They don't."

"Why not?"

"I can't let them know about that side of my life. Not yet, at least," Mikado said quietly.

Shizuo sighed. "So, what made you create the Dollars?"

"The Dollars was actually started as a joke with my online friends. I was bored and wanted to see what others would say," Mikado began. "But once the website was made and the number of members grew, things started to get more serious. We stopped giving out the password not too long after that, but the number of members grew anyway. When the Dollars were getting blamed for the wrongdoings going on in Ikebukuro, my online friends became afraid and disappeared one by one. I'm the only founder left now."

The beginning of explanation caused Shizuo to become more irritated. "What you said about being bored… reminded me of the damn flea."

Mikado let his shoulders slump. "I'm sorry… I would remind you of him, wouldn't I…? I guess he and I are the same in many aspects… I met him on my second day in Ikebukuro. Kida-kun was giving me a tour of the area and we ended up bumping into him. Orihara-san must've suspected who I was the moment he met me. And then… an incident happened later on that confirmed his suspicions."

"What happened?" Shizuo asked, his anger already subsiding as he listened to more of Mikado's voice.

"I was helping a girl from being abducted by a rogue pharmaceutical company, and also to help Celty on her quest in finding her head. I couldn't do that without Orihara-san's help," Mikado answered. "Ever since then, he's taken an interest in me."

"Does he like you romantically?" Shizuo asked, getting irritated once more as he remembered how the sly man had snuck a peck onto Mikado's cheek.

Mikado chuckled. "Hardly. I think he only looks at me like I'm something for him to break… like a dog's new chew-toy…"

The blond didn't like the comparison and shuddered. "That sick bastard…" he muttered, and then turned to Mikado. "How can you just stand there and get victimized like that? Why don't you fight back?"

The teen looked away. "I would if I were able to… I'm actually really weak, Shizuo-san. "

Shizuo sighed in irritation. "Looks like I'm gonna have to look after you…"

"N-no!" Mikado protested, shaking his head frantically. "You don't have to go through that much trouble. I've survived pretty well in Ikebukuro up to this point. You don't have to look after me!"

"I'm just worried, Mikado," the blond replied, patting Mikado's head, deciding to kiss Mikado's forehead before turning to leave. "I'll see you next time, okay?"

Mikado blushed when Shizuo's lips made contact with his forehead. As he watched the man leave, he cried, "Wait!" and ran after him before he reached the stairwell. The teen wrapped his arms around Shizuo's middle and buried his face into the older man's back. "Can you stop by tomorrow, Shizuo-san? I-it's the weekend, so…"

Shizuo smiled and nodded, yet he knew the teen couldn't see him. "Yeah, I'll come by in the morning."

"Thank you, Shizuo-san."

The blond frowned. "You still sound formal even when calling me by my first name. It's alright to just say 'Shizuo.'"

"Sh-Shizuo…" Mikado had to keep himself from adding a suffix to the name. He let his head bow in apology. "I'm sorry… I'm not used to this at all…"

Shizuo turned to face the teen and gave him a gentle smile. "I know. Just try to get into the habit of just using my name, alright?"

Mikado smiled and nodded. "I'll do my best, Shizuo."

The blond patted the teen's head before descending the stairs. "I'll come by in the morning. Take care, Mikado."

After bidding his teacher a farewell, Mikado walked back to his apartment door. Once inside, he couldn't keep himself from smiling. He and Shizuo were finally moving forward in their relationship.

~O~o~O~

Shizuo was practically grinning as he cut through the park to his apartment. It looked like everything was going to go smoothly for the new couple from then on.

An almost ghostly whinny of a horse sounded not too far behind him as if it was trying to get a hold of the blond's attention. He turned around to see a black figure, which was wearing a bright yellow helmet, standing next to a pitch-black motorbike.

Shizuo smiled and nodded to the figure. "Celty! It's been a while."

The dullahan slipped her PDA out of her sleeve and began to type. [It's good to see you back, Shizuo! How have you been?]

"Never been better," he replied. "I'm teaching at Raira now."

Celty typed out a new message. [Oh, when did you start?]

Shizuo flashed her a grin. "Just a couple days ago."

[Congratulations! I'm really glad you're back, Shizuo.]

"Thanks. It's been a while since the last time I've been in Ikebukuro. I really missed being here, y'know? It's such a unique place to live." He sat down on one of the park benches as Celty followed suit. Leaning back, the blond thought back to the many years he'd lived in Ikebukuro. "I wouldn't want to trade places with anyone else in the world right now. This strange city will always be my home."

Celty nods and holds out her PDA. [I completely agree. Ikebukuro is my home too.]

Shizuo smiles once more before thinking of another topic. "Oh, and I kinda found someone… He's younger, but he makes me smile."

For a moment, Celty didn't reply. [Who is he?]

The teacher nearly beamed at the thought of Mikado's name. "His name is Ryuugamine Mikado. You know him, don't you?"

The dullahan nodded, and something about her body language let the blond know that she was happy for him. [Oh, how did you two meet?]

Shizuo blushed, turning his attention to the ground near his feet. "He's… He's my student," he said reluctantly, bringing his gaze back up to Celty's helmet. "I know it's bad, but I… I can't help it. "

Celty shook her helmet and quickly typed on her PDA. [Shizuo, you're talking to a dullahan whose boyfriend is an underground doctor.]

Shizuo paused for a moment. "You have a bit of a point there…"

The headless woman made a motion as if to indicate laughter. Once her laughing ceased, she typed a new message. [I'm happy you found someone who makes you happy. Mikado is a good kid, and if you like him, you like him. It shouldn't matter if he's a student or not.]

"He's still underage though… That's what I'm really concerned about…"

[You'll just have to wait a couple years]

"A couple years is a hell of a long time if you think about it," Shizuo replied and hurriedly continued before Celty could remark about how short the time actually was, considering that she was immortal. "What if things change before then?"

Celty typed her response in record speed. [Spend as much time with him as you possibly can.]

Sighing, he nods solemnly at the characters on the screen. "Not to rile you up or anything but... is this sort of what you go through when you think of Shinra?"

The dullahan's shoulders sagged as she nodded her helmet, not bothering to type anything on her PDA.

"I'm sorry I made you think about that…"

Celty waved him off and typed. [It's okay. It seems like we'll both have to support each other from now on.]

"Yeah," Shizuo replied, the corners of his lips turning up in a small smile. "By the way… if you find that damn louse anywhere near Mikado, be sure to chase him off."

Despite the dullahan's lack of a head, Shizuo could somehow tell that Celty was smiling. [You have my word, Shizuo.]

~O~o~O~

The next morning, Shizuo was on his way to Mikado's apartment when a certain stench made him stop in his tracks.

"Flea… didn't I just tell you yesterday to stay out of Ikebukuro?" he growled.

Izaya casually stepped out of the shadows, shrugging in such a nonchalant way that made Shizuo's blood boil. "Oh, did you? Sorry, I was just so busy noticing that you've been spending way too much time with my Mikado-chan."

"Wha—_Your Mikado-chan?_ Who said he was yours, huh?" the blond asked, doing his best to keep his temper in check.

The informant ignored the question and narrowed his eyes at Shizuo. "Stay away from him, ne? Otherwise, I'll have no other choice than to mark him. If I can't have him, then you can't have him either."

Shizuo was getting more irritated by the second. "_Mark_ him? What the fuck are you going on about, Flea?"

Without warning, Izaya shoved him into the alleyway he'd just stepped out of and pinned the blond against the wall with a surprising amount of strength for his lithe body. He unbuttoned the first few buttons of Shizuo's shirt to reveal the old, faded scar on his chest.

"I'll mark him just like how I marked you the first time we met," the raven clarified, running his fingers along the scar. "If I've marked a person, it means that they don't have much time to live until I eventually kill them. You're the only survivor because it's impossible to kill you using my methods. You're truly a monster, Shizu-chan." Shizuo shivered as he felt Izaya's tongue run slowly along the side of his neck. "But you're also _my_ monster, ne?"

At those words, Shizuo finally found the strength to shove Izaya away. He re-buttoned his shirt and wiped the raven's saliva from his neck. "I'm not a monster, and I'm definitely not yours," was all he said before he left.

Izaya watched him leave with an almost sad expression on his face. "You've had your warning, Shizu-chan…"

~O~o~O~

Mikado anxiously waited in his apartment and wondered if Shizuo would actually show up, but his doubt quickly vanished when a knock finally came at the door. The teen smiled as he opened the door for the blond. "I'm so glad you came, Shizuo-sa—I mean—Shizuo," he said as he shut the door behind them.

"Yeah, me too," Shizuo replied, removing his shoes and placing them by the door. "Oh, umm… I kinda ran into the flea on the way here…"

The teen tilted his head to the side. "What did he do?"

The blond sighed, scratching his head. "I guess he was jealous or some shit like that, saying that you were his or whatever… And then he—" He stopped mid-sentence, and his brow furrowed with a frown.

"What is it?" Mikado asked.

"He said something about marking you if I continued to spend time with you…"

The teen was silent before he took a deep breath. "He won't do anything beyond marking me."

Shizuo wasn't reassured by this. "Are you sure…?"

Mikado gave him a gentle smile and had Shizuo lean down for a small kiss on the cheek. "He won't be able to hurt me beyond that. I'm too valuable for him to lose."

"I can't help but be worried though…" Shizuo replied, gently brushing his lips against Mikado's.

The teen deepened the kiss, wrapping his arms around the man's neck. "It's okay. I can handle him," he said. "Please… I don't want you to keep your distance from me because of Orihara-san."

Shizuo brought him closer to his chest. "I-I trust you, Mikado… but if he does anything to hurt you, I'll kill him. Mikado, I l-love you, okay? Just be careful around that damn flea."

Mikado couldn't help but grin into Shizuo's chest. "I love you too, Shizuo. I'll do my best to stay safe."

* * *

**asdfghjkl I'm so sorry for not updating this TTATT I know I've procrastinated a lot…**

**Please review~! :D**


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